When We Let it All Go.

I met a beautiful soul during my appointment this morning. I had been so anxious leading up to this day. “He’s the nation’s expert on Parkinson’s” she said. Begrudgingly, I made the appointment.

I had such high hopes, but as it turns out – this ‘leading expert’ left me feeling quite a bit more confused. I retreated to the downstairs loby, hoping to gather my thoughts before the long trip home.

The room was still empty at this early morning hour. Far off and to the left, a security guard sat reading the daily post – while the sounds of the city streets came to life in the background.

Just as I began to settle in with my thoughts, and elderly man made his way in through the entrance way. “Mind if I sit here?” he smiled and winked.

At first, I felt it odd. With so many open chairs – all of them, in fact – why did he choose to sit next to me?

“Not at all,” I offered, moving my bag out of the way. But, to be honest, I had very much wanted to be by myself.

But, sometimes the Universe has a way of sending that which is needed most of all.

His eyes lit up as he spoke of his many adventures as an area Top Chef. He had traveled the world, meeting celebrated artists, musicians, and world leaders. Why, he even met a writer or two in his day. It was, by far, one of the most treasured experiences of his life.

Sadly, one day he had to give it all up; a ‘forced early retirement’, as he later explained.

He had contracted the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) nearly thirty years ago. The disease wreaked havoc on his already delicate frame, developing quickly – as he put it – into ‘full blown AIDS.’ In those days, there was still very little known of the virus. Those diagnosed were often outcast – literally turned away to the streets to fend for themselves. The doctors urged that he return home to make plans for his family.

Can you imagine being sent home to plan for your own funeral?

As the disease progressed, a sense of hopelessness settled in. To make matters worse, he was shunned by his community. Even his life-long friends turned away in fear of contracting what was reported to be the world’s deadliest virus.

For thirty long years, he was subjected to countless tests, experimental treatments, and caustic chemical ‘cocktails.’ His body became frail from the treatments. Even his morning walk, which once as a source of great joy, soon became a terrifying ordeal.

And yet, curiously today, there is absolutely no trace of the virus in his body.

“I gave it all to God,” he smiled. “And God gave me the energy to heal.”

Now, whether you’re inclined to believe the science or the spirit, still – it’s quite a miracle, wouldn’t you say?

The doctors couldn’t believe what they were seeing. They ran tests, counted blood levels, and poured through the many thousands of pages of medical records.

“Just because you can’t find it that doesn’t mean it’s not there,” one researched scoffed. In his mind, he just couldn’t imagine the power of ‘giving it all away.’

“There are just some things that can not be explained,” he smiled. It was as if the Universe had conspired to bring this beautiful reminder to me. Today, this beautiful soul delivers his message to patients all throughout the world. Ironically, through this debilitating illness – he has discovered his own strength of purpose.

Indeed, there are many miracles of this great Universe, my loves. Though, some maybe imagined – yes, of course.

Though, what if there are miracles of a much different variety? Those in which the spirit is finally release from these burden of fear, and free to create a life just as beautiful as their heart may have imagined.

Not everything is so ‘cut and dry’, my darlings. And, some things are simply beyond explanation. Though, trust that the heart will always grow stronger where there is purpose.

And, more important than anything else?

When we let it all go, my darlings – remember, we make room for all of life’s most magical moments.

About

Tara Lemieux is a mindful wanderer, and faithful stargazer. Although she often appears to be listening with great care, rest assured she is most certainly‘forever lost in thought. She is an ardent explorer and lover of finding things previously undiscovered or at the very least mostly not-uncovered.

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