We all have those moments.

Someone says or does something to offend. They may criticize the performance of our work. Or, make snide comments when they’re certain we’re not listening. Perhaps, more boldly, that might question the rationale of our decisions.

And, just like that, instantly we are hooked – pulled into the chasm of our own past burdens, as we struggle with the perceived deliberateness of the act.

What were they thinking?

And, just who do they think they are?

Our minds spin quickly into a dozen different stories, far before reason has had a chance to settle in. And, before we know it – we are spiraling out of control; tumbling forward into the habit of reaction.

“Remember the fairy tale in which toads hop out of the princess’s mouth whenever she starts to say mean words? That’s how being hooked can feel. Yet we don’t stop—we can’t stop—because we’re in the habit of associating whatever we’re doing with relief from our own discomfort.” – Pema Chodron

Indeed, it is very much like that old fairy tale.  That’s our shenpa – the urge, so to speak; causing us to abandon the tranquility of our inner peace, for a reaction that may or may not make sense.

And, when it finally passes – my goodness, how quickly we see the ‘error’ of our ways.

We may feel guilty for our transgression. Perhaps, even weakened by the experience. And, in that moment we vow – to never, ever, ever walk this way again.

It’s such a vicious cycle, now isn’t it? But, trying to avoid the energy of emotion, only serves to intensify it.

So, just what on earth can be done?

As Pema Chodron suggests, “What we really need to do is address things just as they are.”

Without judgement…

Without fear…and,

Without all those I wonder if’s…

To allow ourselves the grace of this opportunity, that we might soon learn the truth of our experience:

That it is only through our letting go, that we may finally gain this world.

My darlings, it is within this space that our greatest wisdom is formed; one which rests upon a foundation of courage, and…the only one in which compassion may grow.