The Barrier of Blame.

“Blaming is a way to protect your heart,” writes Pema Chodron.

When someone hurts us, or says something mean – we instinctively seek opportunities to unburden that ‘sting.’ But, in doing so – we create a stumbling block to authentic, heart-driven communication.

And, yet it happens every day.

Though, sometimes it’s much more obvious. “Oh, if only they might understand,” we think.

Sadly, it’s the manner in which blame travels unnoticed. Whether through our views of others, their ideologies, or personal beliefs – sometimes, something deep within us become ‘triggered’ to protect.

I remember when my children were much younger. They had been fighting over something, I can’t even recall – when a loud smack broke through the morning’s silence.

“He did it first,” my daughter yelled. Across the room sat her very shell-shocked and red faced older brother.

“No,” I insisted, as I swooped him into my arms. “My darlings, you did this to one another.”

It was a lesson I reinforced many times through the years. That is to say, in hurting others we only end up hurting ourselves.

Blaming is our way of protecting that which is most vulnerable; those tender ‘soft spots’ within our desperately human hearts.

“Strangely enough,” she writes. “we blame others and put so much energy into the object of anger or whatever it is because we’re so afraid that this anger or sorrow or loneliness is going to last forever.”

But, nothing lasts forever, my dears – all things, even the most heart-wrenching of upsets, must eventually change.

The hurt, the sorrow, the upset, the anger that you feel *in this moment right here* – is already shifting its form, softening, and changing its way.

Though, when we hold onto blame – it can never go away.

A little something to remember, my loves ~ that is, in the end, we are limited only by that which we cling to.

Namaste… <3

About

Tara Lemieux is a mindful wanderer, and faithful stargazer. Although she often appears to be listening with great care, rest assured she is most certainly‘forever lost in thought. She is an ardent explorer and lover of finding things previously undiscovered or at the very least mostly not-uncovered.

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