I had piles of bills stacked on my table – to the left a breakdown of the charges “not covered” under standard health care insurance.

I thought of my children, first – what would they do? How might they cope? Perhaps, more selfishly, I though of myself – how would the diagnosis of a progressive degenerative neurological disease change my capacity to ‘be.’

I thought of all those ‘worst case scenarios’ as we often do when life overwhelms. But, there is always a settling in, my dears – a moment when the veil of uncertainty lifts.

Thankfully, I stumbled upon a quote from Buddhist philosopher Daisaku Ikeda. “It is senseless,” he writes “to blame others or your environment for your miseries. Change begins from the moment you muster the courage to act. When you change, the environment will change. The power to change the world is found nowhere but within our own life.”

It was in that moment that I realized, I had everything I needed to feel present again in my life.

It was as if a great burden had been lifted. There were no decisions to be made, nor circumstances to overcome. It was all right here nestled within the ‘now.’

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, my loves. Easier still to feel small in the face of life’s larger challenges. But, we make the mistake in thinking ‘these changes are all wrong.’ When, in reality, change often ushers the ‘best that has yet to come.’

And, courage comes by way of willingness – the willingness to embrace all possible outcomes.

Had I resisted this life change, I couldn’t be ‘here’ – sharing my heart completely each day to a growing community of beautiful souls. Had I resisted I might never have learned – that true grace comes by way of mustering our courage.

And though my health issues present a unique sort of challenge, it is precisely this path that brings me closer to you each day.

For that, I am ever-grateful my friends — and, for those many millions of micro-moments that continue to bring us here.

Namaste, my loves – ❤️