I remember when I first began my meditation practice.

I’d just been diagnosed with a debilitating neurological disorder, and felt that ‘sitting’ might help to improve my nerves.

And, so – every morning at 4:00 a.m., I’d wake — move my pillow to the floor, and begin the process of settling in. Though, inevitably within just a few short moments, I’d learn there was no ‘settling’ to be had.

My mind would shift to trembling hand, as thoughts would formulate a future that hadn’t yet occurred.

I was distracted, discouraged and wondering the point in pursuing a process that only served to amplify my awareness of what I perceived to be weakness.

It was horribly traumatic. And, at times I felt like abandoning my efforts.

However, something kept me there each morning; ‘something’ invited me to return each day.

And so, I wandered off – read books, sifted through articles. I even watched videos… downloaded clever apps for my phone. However, the ‘stillness’ always seemed to escape me.

Until one day, when I finally realized — I’d lost my ‘why’ along the way.

I wasn’t there to simply calm my nerves, I was there to find peace within.

To that end, I realized I needed to face the inherent fear — to sift through the delicacy of emotion, and find the purpose within my healing.

We all have a ‘why’, my darlings — that something extra which refines our purpose and motivates our efforts throughout each day.

“The quieter you become, the more you’ll hear,” implores spiritualist Ram Dass.

It’s within that oft putting silence, my loves — that we may finally find out why.

As terribly uncomfortable as it may seem, at times – I promise you, there *is* something to be gained.

For, in following it through we ultimately find our heart.

And that should be reason enough to continue onward.