A Little Something on Friendship.

One of the most powerful passages on friendship occurs in a dialogue between the Buddha and his cousin, Ananda.

“Friendship is merely half the holy life,” Ananda quipped. To which the Buddha replied, “No, Ananda – friendship is the whole of the holy life.”

I was thinking about this passage on my drive in this morning. Specifically, as it pertained to my own interactions with those who I’ve allowed nearest to heart. Friendship is about patience and forgiveness. It’s about relinquishing the needs of ego, and responding with a compassionate hand.

None of us are perfect, my loves. And yet, we expect perfection in each of our interactions. Though, what would life be without the challenge of these moments – in which we are forced to pause, to listen a little more deeply… to understand.

These are the moments in which we grow, my loves. And, hopefully through these interactions – we grow as ‘one’.

Via the Mitta Sutta, we are reminded of the Buddha’s words on friendship:

“A friend endowed with seven qualities
Is worth associating with.
Which seven?
He gives what is hard to give.
He does what is hard to do.
He endures what is hard to endure.
He reveals his secrets to you.
He keeps your secrets.
When misfortunes strike,
He doesn’t abandon you.
When you’re down and out,
He doesn’t look down on you.”

Indeed, friendship gives what is often hardest to give – the willingness to reach through with healing hand.

To me, friendship is the whole of my holy life; it is the means by which I discover and grow.

Though, perhaps author Henri Nouwen summarizes it best;

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

About

Tara Lemieux is a mindful wanderer, and faithful stargazer. Although she often appears to be listening with great care, rest assured she is most certainly‘forever lost in thought. She is an ardent explorer and lover of finding things previously undiscovered or at the very least mostly not-uncovered.

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