Pushing Past These Limitations of Heart.

I was thinking about my very first college-level English course. The instructor, Dr. Stevens, was a generous man who always encouraged me to write.

“Your writing is so effortless,” he’d offer with a grin. Though, still – I was hesitant to believe.

“Why must I always tug at these words?” He’d cornered me one day in the student lounge. “Why won’t you share more of this gift?”

I then recounted the story of my high school English teacher, who – in a moment of rash judgment declared I should ‘never again lift my pen to write.’ I had been so hurt by her comments, not simply because I had so enjoyed the task – rather, more so, because she had humiliated me openly in front of the class.

I’d carried the wound of her words for years, allowing them precious space within my heart. I remodeled my behavior, changed my wishes and dreams – even, turned down an opportunity or two.

To be creative requires both vulnerability and courage. As Camus once wrote, we must open the gentle indifference of the world. And in that process, we become whole – we discover aspects of self otherwise obscured.

In that single moment, I allowed her words to replace my own.

“Just remember,” he smiled. “Not everyone can see the world as clearly as we do.”

Oh, how easily our hearts are impressed. If only we might hold the sanctity of will over the limitations of another’s opinion.

I’ve learned through these years, there is something deep within us. Some term it desire, others – a willingness of soul. But always with the capacity to bring our hearts home.

“And that makes me happy,” shared Camus. “For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.”

And through this process we find that our ‘edges’ are always negotiable.

You are, after all, the delight of this universe manifested in human form.

In peace…

Namaste ❤️

 

About

Tara Lemieux is a mindful wanderer, and faithful stargazer. Although she often appears to be listening with great care, rest assured she is most certainly‘forever lost in thought. She is an ardent explorer and lover of finding things previously undiscovered or at the very least mostly not-uncovered.

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